Hot Bod Struggling To Be Revealed

Last night, when I was shaving my legs in the shower, I noticed something about my body I had forgotten about. I ran my hand across my calf, checking for stubble I may have missed, and I was actually shocked at what I felt. My instant reflex was to snap my hand away quickly, not realizing what it was at first. What I had felt, was a rock hard calf muscle. Under a bit of fat, yes, but rock hard and protruding underneath. I used to really like my legs. I always had really nice calves. Even now, probably the thing I like the most (in other words, hate the least), are my legs. My lower legs, anyway. They're kind of thin and strong compared to the rest of my body. It's kind of like one of those toys that has 3 blocks on top of each other and each side of each block has a different picture. You can twist the blocks and have a duck face, a pig belly and clown feet. That's kind of how my body is. You see that a lot on overweight people. I always imagine that it's because our legs are getting a nice strength training workout just from holding up our bodies. Hey, whatever works. But, when I felt my calf last night, I felt really warm and kind of melted inside. I don't know why I had this strange reaction. It just made me feel happy. So much hope filled my body from my fingertips to my toes. I thought, "There is a really hot bod underneath this blubber and it's dying to be revealed." I've got the fever again. I'm feeling less hungry, craving less junk (of course, it doesn't hurt that I don't have any junk food in the house!), and I can't wait to get home to work out. I worked out again tonight. I did a higher level video and while I was supposed to be walking in place, I was jogging in place. I was squeezing my butt cheeks and my heart was pumping. By the cool down, I had sweat pouring down my face and neck and WOOHOO! it felt amazing! It felt like the fat was just pouring out of me.

I had my weigh in today at work. I went up .2 pounds. I was expecting it. But all I could think about was, "I can't wait to weigh in next week after working out and eating less junk! Maybe I'll lose 3 pounds!" And it made me want to go home and work out. Unfortunately, we only have 2 weigh-ins left of the contest. Leave it to me to wait til the last minute to start participating. Oh well. At least this has given me the motivation to start up again. I can't wait til this roller coaster straightens out a bit. I'm tired of being motivated and losing 5 pounds only to crap out and gain 10.

Turkey Wattle

YEA! I finally got to work out. I was getting worried at work today because I think I'm getting sick and I started feeling really bad around lunch time. Lunch time was around 2:30 and I started to feel really achy and feverish. I just couldn't skip another work out. I saw a picture of myself today from my last G.N.O. with my mom and sisters and it was a picture of my profile. Can you say, "Gobble! Gobble!"? I swear I had a giant turkey wattle. It was so scary. My sister told me I was supposed to look at the pictures and see how much fun we were having but all I could see was turkey wattle. It's so awful. She told me we need to find something to get me motivated again and get my self-esteem back. I told her the only thing that will get my self-esteem back is losing weight. Seriously, I've tried. Every time I think I'm going to have a positive attitude and stop berating myself and see my good qualities first, it lasts about 10 seconds. And then I see a picture of myself, or I look in a mirror or I see my husband folding my giant clothes and notice how wide his wingspan has to open just to hang up a pair of my jeans. And the berating begins again.

When I got home I was feeling much better and didn't even think about not working out. My daughter wanted to work out with me but I wasn't sure what I was going to do about playing the dvd. We put in the Power Sculpt dvd of the Biggest Loser set and for some reason the Roxio CinePlayer played this one without lagging. That is good. My Windows Media Player doesn't work again. Whatever that Dell dude did jacked up other parts of my PC so I just restored it to when I know it was fine. I tried chatting with another dude and he actually tried some things to fix my WMP instead of just installing another player. Nothing worked. Last night I got on the phone with my sister and she helped me troubleshoot but we just couldn't get it still. But we did find out that a lot of other people are having the same problem. I'm pretty bummed. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the Cardio Max dvd and it won't play on my pc. I might just have to find a player I can use until Windows can get their act together and find a solution to my conundrum.

There's a duck in my bill.

 

Turkey wattle.

Sweattin' in the Front Room

Holy Shnikes! Why is it when you ask someone for help, instead of giving you what you asked for, they give you what they think you should have instead of the thing you asked for??? Tonight, I decided to engage in a tech support chat to get my media player working. I told the guy I think I needed a driver update but I didn't know which one to download. He asked if he could take over my monitor and I said yes. I was actually hoping he would do that and just take care of the problem for me. Instead of fixing my media player, he installs a different player and tells me I just didn't have the latest software. I told him that's great, but my Windows Media Player still doesn't work. He just kept telling me he recomments this other player. I told him it was working when I bought the computer, it was working last month but it's not working now. As I looked at the new player, I noticed not only is it something I didn't want in the first place, but it's only a trial version and if I want to keep that player, I had to pay for it. Otherwise, I'd be in the same position I'm in now, 30 days from now. I told him again I just wanted my player fixed. He told me I'd have to reload WIndows if I wanted to do that and I could just backup my computer on a flash drive because it will erase everything. What-the-#$%&-ever!!! HUH-UH, NO FRIGGIN' WAY! Is he crazy??? I just wanted a driver update, not a love affair with disaster. I finally got him to find the right driver update and 5 minutes later my player was working. Unfortunately, while he was playing Charles in Charge on my computer, he changed my resolution to very poor and everything on my screen was ginormous. I figured he would fix it back once we were done but when my computer restarted, our chat session had conveniently been disconnected. So, I had to guess what it was before because I have no idea. What a nightmare. Oh well, at least my player works now.

Which means I was able to do my BL DVD in my front room tonight! WOOWOO! It was sweat-tastic! I did the cardio portion of my "Maximum Results" plan and I was sweatting my patootie off. How do you spell patootie, anyway? I had sweat pouring off of everything. That's how I know it's working. So, somehow, after about a week or so of doing this alternating plan, I'm going to weigh myself and see how I'm doing. Of course, I don't really have an accurate weight to compare it to because the last time I weighed at the gym was July 4th and a lot has happened since then. And I'm not going to use Miss Whore Scale to do it so don't ask. I found a scale I really want but I just can't bring myself to spend that much money on a scale when things are so tight right now. It's only $40 but hey, $40 is $40. And I have a teenage girl starting high school in a couple of weeks and that means school clothes. Steven Llama.