Houston, We Have A Problem

So, I signed up for this half marathon thingy, and instead of training and eating healthy, I am eating like a fat girl again. What the heck?? I can't quit freaking eating M&Ms! I still haven't gone to the farmer's market and I still eat crap. It's all because I've been slacking on my confessions to my warden. If I kept up with that every day, I wouldn't give in because I'd feel too guilty. I really need to get back on the stick. I can feel myself gaining weight again and I've had to miss some trainings which is really upsetting me. I've got a huge project I'm working on and I've been doing it after work and I've also had to run unexpected errands so I've put off some of my weekly runs. I'm feeling pretty disappointed in myself and I just can't wait to go running again. Tomorrow night for sure.

I also haven't updated my "Bringing Sexy Back" poster since I started it in September. That was actually because my daughter's digital camera is broken so I haven't had a chance to take any new pics. I guess it really works out in my favor though, seeing as how it would just be more fat pictures of me. However, I recently stepped into the 21st century myself and I now own a digital camera. So, on December 13th, I'll take a new picture and update my poster. Even though it probably won't be much of an improvement from September 13th. But from here on out, I'll update it every month on the 13th, sexy or not.

Sleeping With The Enemy

I have been horrifically bad this week. I’ve done the unthinkable and I come to you tonight to confess my sins. It is that time of the month for me this week and as you know, that is the only time I really crave chocolate. Usually, I would shun the creamy sweetness of chocolate for the salty goodness of popcorn in a heartbeat. However, that one time of month, it’s like I’m a werewolf and the inner monster in me rears its ugly fangs. The weird thing is, I haven’t even had the deep down irresistible craving for chocolate like I usually do when I’m a werewolf. My brain just kept telling me to eat and eat and eat and not to be prejudiced towards the sweet stuff and eat that, too. I ate when I wasn’t hungry. I ate chocolate when I didn’t crave it. And as a good friend of mine recently said, “I almost ate the plate that my food was served on.” My boss has a Halloween bucket of chocolate sitting on her desk that she keeps refilling. Normally, when I eat chocolate, I eat one small piece and my craving is satisfied. However, this week the beast in me was eating 2 and 3 pieces at a time. I was eating ½ cups of M&Ms in one sitting. I don’t do that! Too many sweets make me sick and I just did it anyway. I took a freaking bowl to bed with me last night!!! TO BED WITH ME!!! Chocolate is the enemy right now and I certainly don’t want to be sleeping with it at this point in my life! It was like food just had no affect on me. Only, I know that’s not true. I know that come Saturday, it will have had a HUGE affect on me. I can feel a good 3-5 pound weight gain this week and it’s enough to make me want to puke. And with that, I bid you good night and sweet dreams – no pun intended.