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Thursday
May022013

I've Said it Before and I'll Say it Again

Shopping for plus size women is EXPENSIVE. I live in Texas and since it's May, it's getting warmer. Well, it's supposed to be, anyway. Even though today's high is only in the 50s. But, eventually, it will get warmer. And I have no warm weather clothes. Everything I own is either a sweater or long sleeve shirt. I rotate between 2 pairs of pants every single day. And I don't even get Casual Friday where I work so I don't get to throw a pair of jeans in the rotation. I would like to start wearing dresses because they just seem so simple and easy. However, I have noticed that being big, it's not as easy and comfortable as some women make it look. I have to wear Spanx with most dresses and that is SO not comfortable. Putting on Spanx is such a process. It takes 10-15 minutes to get the damn things on and once they're up, you can't even adjust them because they're so freaking tight. And you always need to adjust them because they're so twisted and bunched that they cut into your skin and are extremely painful. By the time you get them on, your hair is a limp mess, your makeup is smeared and you're all sweaty. So much for trying to feel pretty wearing a dress. And even if you get the things on, put on your dress and feel kinda good about yourself, once you start walking and HEAR your thighs rubbing together and feel the heat rising, you're pretty sure they're going to burst into flames at any moment and you KNOW everyone else around you can hear it, too, you don't feel so sexy anymore. And don't even get me started on trying to use the restroom once they're on. Who wants to have that party in the stall at work? Not me. And are they kidding me with the "pee hole" in them? How could a woman possibly pee through that thing? You might as well just pee all over yourself. And on top of all of that, a good pair of Spanx is almost $40. Why would I pay $40 just to torture myself with pain and agonizing embarrassment? You ever tried to put on a pair of Spanx in front of your husband? Don't do it. Your inner sex kitten will be sucked right out of you in an instant.

And I haven't even gotten to shopping for an actual dress. As I said, I would like to start wearing dresses because if I could just throw on a dress and go, it would save a lot of hassle. You only have to buy one garment and your whole outfit is done. Awesome, right? This weekend, my daughter and I are going to see Wicked and I really wanted to dress nice. I looked for a nice cocktail dress but the cheapest one I found is $82. I didn't want to spend that on a dress I'll only wear once. I realize most cocktail dresses are about this price, even in "regular" sizes. But "regular" size people can find cheaper alternatives. Plus size women, not so much. I went shopping with my daughter last weekend at JC Penney for some dresses for the summer and we found dresses for her for $15-$25. You can't find that for plus size people. I did find one dress I thought was really pretty and tried it on just for fun. I thought  it looked really pretty. Unfortunately, it was totally see through. What the hell? Are they kidding me? WHY??? So, I have been looking online at Lane Bryant and Dress Barn and the simple sundresses at LB are $69.50!!!! What??? How is that fair?? It's so ridiculous. The same style dress at JCP for "regular" size people was $15!!! It's an outrage. So, here I sit, in Texas, in May, in winter clothes. Oh, to be a "regular" size person again.

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